A bit of a rougher day today...
The ongoing battle with nausea continues.  This obstacle was somewhat foreseen as she had the same issues with narcotics with her previous surgery.  Unfortunately it's a bit of a vicious cycle - pain meds lead to nausea, nausea leads to using less pain meds, less pain meds leads to pain...and so it goes on.  In an entire day mom hit her "pain button" 3 times - that's 3 mini doses of fentanyl.  Technically she is allowed/expected to hit the button as much as every six minutes - so that gives you some perspective.  Unfortunately she was STILL nauseous and then on top of it had pain.   At this time there isn't a heck of a lot they can do but to just wait and ride it out.  Geoff and Linds drove down from Calgary this afternoon.  They always have a way of putting a smile on mom's face.  I know she was incredibly glad to see them both!  Around 7 tonight she kicked us all out and sent us out for dinner.  Hopefully she gets some rest tonight - we're hoping tomorrow has a bit more comfort in store.

While sitting around with mom today I got to thinking... this year there has been a lot of bad news and A LOT of challenges.  The initial devastating diagnosis of esophageal cancer followed by 5 weeks of chemotherapy and daily radiation. A radical esophagectomy --- mom has a way of downplaying her surgeries, but really what they did was remove her entire esophagus, pull her stomach up into her chest and attached it to the back of her throat.  Her surgery was complicated by vocal cord paralysis – resulting in difficulties swallowing and the initial loss of her voice. Then the unthinkable... the cancer spread throughout her chest and to her liver - making it incurable.  What followed was nine more rounds of IV chemotherapy and a daily chemo pill.   

BUT - in a year fraught with devastation we have also had so SO many incredible days and even some good news.  I can’t believe how much "good" we've managed to squeeze in: New Years with our cousins in Whitefish on the ski hill.  Two mother-daughter weekends in Vancouver.  Geoff and Lindsey’s wedding in Mexico – which mom attended 6 weeks post op!  The Ride to Conquer Cancer with Leslie’s triumphant Honey Badgers.  An amazing summer in Windermere packed with sun, golf, beach time and daily happy hour! Mom and dad’s 3-week road trip to the Grand Canyon with amazing stops along the way.  Mom was the recipient of her own Terry Fox Award.  Two weeks on the Big Island in Hawaii with Mike and I - we boogie boarded, did a night snorkel with Manta Rays and swam with hundreds of dolphins.   A week in Maui with mom’s friends Maureen and Duane -  they swam with dozens of giant turtles and biked down the volcano!  The highlight of the year however was just recently when we received news that mom’s cancer has responded in a very unusual way to the chemotherapy and that she was a candidate for a potentially curable resection of her liver tumour.

The above feats may sound normal or typical to the average person – but in the context of our year, nothing but overwhelming gratitude has accompanied each of these events. There was a time we weren’t sure if mom would ever eat or drink by mouth again – she was on a feeding tube for 3 months.  We wondered if we would ever share a latte at Artigianos again or if she would ever have people over for dinner again.  There was a time we thought we would never hear her laugh again.  There was a time we thought she may not speak up in a crowd again.  There was a time we thought she most definitely would never swim, let alone snorkel, ever again.  There was a time we wondered if she would be able to walk on Nose Hill with Boomer, ride a bike or jog.  She has done them all...some with grace and some with scrappy tenacity.   Call me a pessimist – but I’m not too proud to say I've been wrong.  Since the get go mom has set out to “beat the odds” – and this is exactly what she’s already done time and time again.   Do I sound like a proud daughter or what??!? ahahah. Until tomorrow....