A short blog tonight.  First of all, reminders to all that tomorrow is June 1st which of course, I hopefully have everyone trained to remember, "White Rabbits"  must be the first words from your mouth when you awaken tomorrow.  Saying these words will ensure you good luck for the entire month of June!  And if you don't need your luck, you know who does!  Send a little my way!

Hung around the house today doing odds and sods, hoping the surgeon would call.  Late into the afternoon, I finally gave up and took Boomer for a walk and ran some errands.  Got home to find a message on the answering machine from the doctor saying he was just boarding an airplane but had reviewed my films and although he did see the narrowing of the stomach he didn't think that should be causing the emptying problem.  Well, something's causing the emptying problem.  He suggested I just do clear fluids and he would touch base with me on Monday.  I'm staying off of everything by mouth for the time being.  The problems it is causing just aren't worth it until I get some answers to my problem.

Off to Windermere for the weekend.  May or may not blog, depending on Dad's Wifi situation.  So if you don't hear from me....don't worry.....nothings happening.

Slept in a chair last night and had a great rest.  Bill came down this morning and it was kind of cute.  He's checking me out to see how I look, I'm checking him out to see how he looks.  I know when I start my hacking and coughing at night I am disturbing his rest as well as my own.  We both actually looked pretty darn good this morning.  Sleeping in a chair may be for me for the next little while.

Did some puttering around this morning.  I have become quite obsessed with clipping out recipes from newspapers and magazines.  My friend Connie told me when her son was going through his period of ill health where eating was an issue he became obsessed with the food channel!  For me it's recipes.  I've become a clipping fiend so decided this morning if I'm going to adopt this obsession I better get the clippings semi organized.

Had Bill phone the surgeon's office today.  I want him to know how badly I am suffering from this reflux thing.  Bill was talking to the nurse and told her I had come home yesterday and eaten a scrambled egg. Well, the general consensus seems to be, from many of you, from my doctor and from myself that a scrambled egg may not have been the wisest food choice as the first real food my tummy has had in two months.  The fact that Bill decided to jazz it up with a little cheese probably didn't help and although I thought it at the time, I ate it anyways.  Have already decided that once I get the go ahead to eat it's going to be bananas, apple sauce, yogurt........I don't think I will every eat scrambled eggs again.  I'm still experiencing the after taste today and believe me....two day old egg is pretty darn disgusting!  Have not taken anything by mouth today but have taken to chomping on ice chips and then spitting out the water to freshen up my disgusting mouth!

Still, despite this ongoing issue the day was good.  Met my friend Maureen for pedicures.  Both of us came out supporting bubblegum pink toes with "designs".  There's something about a pedicure that puts a bounce back into your step!  Mine were pretty beaten up and each time the little Vietnamese gals chattered away to each other in their native tongue I was positive they were making comments on the state of my feet.  Shades of the hospital when I was actively hallucinating I'm sure, but you do wonder what they are saying.  Sometimes I wish I spoke Vietnamese so I could eves drop!

Hope to hear back from the doctor tomorrow.  He had not received the report from my test yet but said he would call as soon as it came.  Hope to hear back from him before the weekend.

I have dragged my sorry ass to the computer because I know many of you will be wondering how the swallow test went.  Day started out fantastic.  I was up at 6 to shower and get my dressing changed.  We needed to be at the hospital for 7:30 which is quite the challenge for me these days to me moving that quickly.  I had thought long and hard about the test, tucking my head, taking my time, making sure the liquid was to the back of my throat etc. etc.  Well that worked for the about the first three swallows and then the radiologist started to get creative.  I had to drink lying down, lying on my side lying as much on my stomach as I could.  The doctor was wonderful.  Much better than the previous two tests I have had.  He was very throrough.  At the end of it he said there was no aspiration at all but he did have some concerns at the rate the stomach was emptying.  The last radiologist mentioned this as well.  The doctor took lots of images and pictures of my gut and lungs.  His first impression was that there might be a narrowing in the stomach.  If this is the case he said it can be easily fixed with a simple scope.  This very well could be the cause of my recent battle with acid reflux.  In any case.....in typical Leslie fashion, I heard the first part....you are not aspirating but downplayed the second part.  Went out to the waiting room to do the dance of joy for Bill.  This has been the first positive news I have had for awhile and I was pretty exited.  Decided to come home and have some scrambled eggs.  Bill cooked them and they were delicious.  I only had one egg but the whole thing went down just fine.  Felt great for a couple of hours and then things started to shift.  I could feel the reflux coming on.  Tried to go for a walk.....not even close to Boomer's standards.  Got home and plopped myself in a chair and have been wrenching and bringing up nasty stuff for the past 4 hours.  Quite frankly I may never eat a scrambled egg for as long as I live.  Kind of like when you were young and drank too much cheap red wine.  My friend Kathy does not drink red wine to this day and I'm really not partial to it either.  "Cold Duck', nastiest wine on the planet!

Not anticipating a good night tonight and actually may just go to bed in a recliner and skip the bed.  It's pretty clear this has got to run it's course and I think I will be much better off sitting up. Shit!  I was so excited this morning and to have this happen really has taken me for a loop.  It has made me sit back and think a little though and I have decided nothing by mouth until I talk to the surgeon and see what they think this problem is and what they can for me.  These problems really have started since I got back from Mexico and started drinking which leads me to believe my stomach is not clearing anything.  I'm even thinking all this coughing I've been doing is a related thing.  So time to take a step back, reevaluate, hope they can do something to alleviate this problem and then move forward again...BUT NOT WITH SCRAMBLED EGGS!  I'm thinking bananas and applesauce might be a better start.  So good news/bad news......and the good definitely outweighs the bad!  I'll be back on track tomorrow.  Will remind you all tomorrow but we are getting on to the end of the month and we all know what that means!!!

This is a difficult blog to write because I have been in a frump all day long!  Too many nights of interrupted sleep catches up to you.  Last night I was sleeping pretty good when the phone rang at 2 AM.  We both jumped and of course your immediate thought is it must be one of your kids.  Your mind races to where they are.....Geoff was working nights last night, Kelli was in New York.  Bill answered and it was my uncle calling from London, England.  He had no idea what the time change was and was phoning to see how I was doing.  Nice of him to call, he truly meant well but that really set the tone for the rest of the night.

Bill was off to replace his windshield in his truck today and I tackled a bunch of muffins, finally planted my flowers and took Boomer for a walk.  Just haven't been able to kick this grumpy feeling today though and am thinking it was a good thing I was on my own.  When I was cooking the muffins I was wondering at how much I enjoyed this activity and it suddenly came to me.  It is the one thing I can still do the same now as before the surgery.  Almost every other single thing I do has been impacted by this surgery.  That is a hard pill to swallow.

I started to think about the things I really miss.
-my health
-my voice
-my laugh
-eating and drinking.  Just stop and think about how much of your day revolves around this activity.  It is probably one of the most social things we do.
-going for a walk without puffing
-running
-all my fitness/sports activities
-golf
-sleeping an entire night and waking up rested and ready to go
-sleeping on my stomach
-sleeping flat
-talking on the phone
-the kids at school!  Today I was walking in the ravine and I could hear the kids at Tom Baines laughing and screaming in the school yard.  Made me homesick for those little guys!
-the Winter Club
-my body
-inviting friends for dinner and being invited to their place for dinner
-having a glass of wine
-coffee
-making small talk  (with limited voice, I've become selective about what I say)

There is more and I could go on and on but the pity party must end! Hopefully, no 2 AM phone calls and a decent nights sleep will put me back on track!   Tomorrow's a new day!
Tomorrow is my swallow test!  I am hopeful that will go well for me!  Then I can start tackling some of that delicious orange jello sitting in my fridge!

A pretty low key day.  Was up pretty early this morning but did have a better night.  Still have some issues I'm trying to deal with but in the back of my mind I'm thinking "how much longer will I have to have this tube?"  I know they will leave it until I am able to take all my nutrition by mouth but I have huge incentive to do that and am hoping I can move along without to many problems.

The best surprise of the day was my blood pressure.  It has been sky high since the surgery.  Shockingly so for someone who always has had low blood pressure and a low heart rate.  When I went to see the surgeon last week it was 158/107.  He didn't even bat an eye.  Said he wished they wouldn't take people's blood pressure when they come to see him.  There is some truth in that....I think my hairdresser, Lorna calls it "White Coat Syndrome."  I know even the sound of his voice makes me anxious.....kind of a conditioned response.  In any case I have been checking it off and on on my own as well and it has been consistently high.  When I asked him about it he said "That is a mystery!".  Imagine that!  Well today I was in Coop and decided I should do a check. I just about fell out of my chair when it came back 119/76. In fact I was sure that could not possibly be right because I haven't seen numbers that low in months.  So I pushed the button a second time and it came back 113/67.  I was pretty happy about that.  I have not been happy with those elevated numbers.

Had a couple of walks today and had a redo on my Mom's Old Fashioned Oxtail Soup.  This time I payed attention, stirred and cooked with a little more "Patience".  I think it paid off......I didn't burn it to a crisp.  Bill hasn't tried it yet, but my nose tells me it's good.  I know it seems weird that I'm cooking but I can't eat.  But there is some comfort in doing something familiar and routine.  I don't cook all the time but every so often I just get the urge to get in the kitchen and make a mess.  It is very therapeutic!

I'm sure hoping the weather warms up a tad this week.  Still haven't put out my flowers.  Will tackle that tomorrow, weather permitting!