Saw the Calgary surgeon today.  He is cautious and basically suggested he needed a CAT scan to see more of what he is dealing with.  He also suggested that he wasn't convinced the best thing for me would be the removal of part of my liver.  He is leaning more towards less invasive techniques.  He wasn't sure when I could get the CAT scan but asked if we would go to Canmore or High River at which point we told him I actually have an appointment booked in Edmonton on Friday morning.  He was happy with that.  So our plan at this point is to drive up to Edmonton tomorrow, spend the night, have the CAT scan Friday morning and then meet with the surgeon in Edmonton to see what his recommendations would be. I think given the magnitude of this decision a second opinion is a wise thing to get.   Kelli told me she has sat in on sessions where several doctors look at the same tumour and none of them agree on the best protocol for dealing with it so I fully expect I may get a totally different opinion from this other surgeon.  I am still leaning to having the full on surgery.  I have not gone through this year without the hope of getting rid of the cancer and to me this would be my best case scenario.  Just take it out.  I know it is a big surgery, I know there are risks, I know the cancer could come back but I also think that I need to take the leap if I want to get better.  I do not believe in doing things half way!  So....will see what the CAT scan says and will listen to the Edmonton surgeon and then I shall make up my mind.

Another rollercoaster day.  Dr. Dixons' office called this morning (Calgary surgeon) to tell me I had an appointment to see him tomorrow at 2 PM.  I was quite surprised as my oncologist had told me Dr. Dixon would be out of town until late January and that is why they have been looking for other alternatives for me.  I questioned the receptionist and asked "Isn't Dr. Dixon away?"  She sounded a little surprised and answered a definitive "No."  I then asked if he was going away in the near future and again the reply was "No."  Can't figure that one out at all.  So now here I sit with two appointments, one with the Edmonton surgeon who is supposed to be excellent and one with the Calgary surgeon who also has an excellent reputation.  So I have decided to go to the appointment tomorrow and see how quickly I can get the surgery in Calgary.  If it isn't pronto I will then be on my way to Edmonton on Thursday as they will get it done within the next two weeks.  Phew....things happening quickly but this is a good thing!  I'm just not as naive about surgery as I was the last time so tend to get a little anxious when I start thinking about it too much.
I am now on the "fatten Leslie" wagon again.  You should have seen the bowl of porridge Bill set in front of me this morning.  It was definitely Papa Bear size and was loaded with raisins, coconut, blueberries etc.  I'm getting it from all angles....eat, eat, eat!  So I am doing my best although it is tough when you are never hungry.  Don't think I'm going to put on the weight they would like me to but I will do my best.

Did a little more Christmas stuff today.  I keep thinking I am done, and I am very close and then I realize there are still a few things left to do.  So got a couple more things done today and then met Kelli for pedicures.  We are now both sporting bright red Christmas toes!!!

After the pedicure I went next door to Tail Blazers to pick Boomer up his favorite treat, salmon sticks.  They are the most disgusting, vile smelling thing but he absolutely loves them.  The girl at the store told me they are like crack cocaine for dogs.  A dog will do just about anything for a salmon stick!  When I pull them out and look at Boomer he will do every trick he knows without even being asked.  We looked around the store.  It is your basic organic, health food store for dogs!  You cannot believe the items they provide there.  A few months ago I wrote about the "Esophagus Chews" which I was then accused of having a "sick" sense of humour for.  By the way they still sell those.  Today, however, my eyes caught sight of a new treat.  (see picture below....)  Kelli just rolled her eyes and said "Mom, you have a sick, sick sense of humour."  I actually agree with her!

Let me know if you think this is inappropriate!  Got to get supper going as tonight is my photography course.  We "get" to do the practice exam tonight.  Oh good!  Haven't even glanced at my notes this week.  Sure hope we get to mark our own.

A rollercoaster day for sure.  Got up with the intent of waiting "patiently" for a call from the surgeons' office.  I lasted until 9 AM and decided I would call them.  The receptionist asked me to spell my name and then said she had no recollection of my name being referred but she would check the doctors' inbox.  She came back a few minutes later and said there was a referral there but the doctor was at the Rockyview all week.  She would forward the email to him and I "might" hear from him....it would be hit and miss.  I got off the phone feeling more than a little frustrated and decided to call my oncologist.  Of course I could not get through to him.  They have several lines of defence.  First you call triage and then they pass the message on and hopefully someone will return your call.  I told the triage nurse my story and said I would really like to speak to my doctor if possible.  She agreed that I should talk to him and forwarded me on to his office.  Again, no person answers the phone, just an messaging system so I left a message asking for someone, preferably my doctor,  to return my call.  Waited a few hours.  No call.  Finally I talked to Kelli and she said she would page Dr. Essaw.  She got a hold of him and told him I have an opportunity to go to Edmonton where the surgery would be performed quickly.  He knows the doc in Edmonton and has in fact worked with him and thinks highly of him so recommended I go with this option as Calgary is looking slow at best.  So I had pretty much made up my mind this was what I would do.  Headed out to the off leash park with Boomer and then went up to the Winter Club for a bit.  When I got home had a message on my voicemail that I had an appointment with our first choice doctor here in Calgary this Wednesday.  I had been told that this doctor was away until the end of January so am now thoroughly confused.  It was to late to call his office but will call first thing tomorrow morning.  I'm thinking that he's going to see me for a consult but is probably going away shortly and won't be able to do the surgery until January but will see what they say.  He would be my first pick if he's available.  So at this point I'm really not sure what is happening.  I am off of all chemo starting today.  No IV chemo tomorrow....Yahoo!  No pills!  Yahoo!  I have been on chemo for the past five months so this will be a welcome break although there is that nagging worry that things will come back if I stop.  My nurse called today and said they may want to wait a month for me to be off all chemo before the surgery but much will depend on my blood work.  Usually it is pretty good after three weeks but it is up to the Doctor to decide.  I will do whatever the doctors recommend but I am really hoping to get this all over before Christmas!   May not have to write that final photography course exam after all!  Some people will do anything to get out of a test!

Just got home from a fantastic dinner at my cousins' place.  We had a turkey dinner and it felt just like Christmas!  Today was a busy, productive day.  I'm trying to get all my Christmas gifts wrapped and ready just in case I get the call to go for my surgery quickly which is what I am hoping and praying for.  Tomorrow I will call and see when my appointment with the surgeon is scheduled for.  We are all anxious to get on with this.

We slept until 8 AM this morning.    I'm finding it hard to get out of bed these days with it being dark and cold.  Boomer was booked in to Pet Mart at 9:30 for his Christmas "beauty treatment".  I have never taken him to the groomers before....we are regulars to the dollar dog wash but with this cold weather I didn't want to be bringing him home wet.  I have never been one to spend a lot on his grooming.  I once had a discussion with another dog owner about what some people spend on their pets' grooming.  Her comment was that there was no way she would spend more on her dogs' grooming than she did on her own.  My sentiments exactly!  I prefer to spend the $3.00 it usually takes to get him clean but today the $30 seemed like a pretty good deal.  So off we went.  Boomer was very excited to be invited on a car ride as car rides usually mean we are going to the off leash park.   So you can understand why he  was mildly confused when we arrived at the pet store parking lot at Beacon Hill.  I took him through the store which was also a very exciting sensory experience for a dog with a hypersensitive nose!  So much to smell and bags and bags of dog food!  We got to the grooming room at the back of the store where two dogs (Bill would call them rodents), one a Shitzu and the other a Yorkie were being groomed and clipped.  The girl at the counter gave Boomer a treat right off the bat so I can see him thinking to himself that this place wasn't so bad!  Food is everything to Boomer!  I then handed over the leash and left knowing that the next few hours weren't going to be enjoyed much by one black lab! I got the call around one to pick him up.  When I got to the grooming room one of the groomers went into the back room to get him.  The door to the back room opened and a black blur flew out like a bolt of lightening.  He had that look in his eye that shouted "get me out of this place!"  He looked great and smelled even better!  As anxious as he was to get out of there the torture wasn't over.  Included in the deal was an opportunity to get his picture taken with Santa Claus!  Pretty good deal actually....for $35 they bathed him, cut his nails, cleaned his ears and took his picture with Santa!

So  I am getting there on "being prepared." My shopping is 99.9% done (I did realized today that I had forgotten a couple things). I have done very little baking this year but I have never been a huge baker at Christmas.    My Christmas cakes and our traditional Christmas pudding, however,  are done.  In years past I have enjoyed the generosity of my students who often brought me samples of their moms wonderful baking.   That won't be happening this year but that's OK.  We really don't need all that stuff anyways!

Tomorrow, a little more wrapping, some phone calls to get things figured out and a workout.   I am thinking I probably won't be having chemo on Tuesday as chemo inhibits heeling after surgery!   Yahoo....won't miss that, especially with the problems I had this last go round with nausea!  A break will be appreciated!

White Rabbits, white rabbits!!!  Hope you all remembered.....If not here's my friend Duanes' reminder!!!

(OK....don't freak....they are coffee beans.....delicious ones actually from Hawaii!)

I woke up this morning and was lying in my bed doing what I often do in the mornings.  We have a series of pictures of adventures we have done over the years around our bedroom and I love to lie there and look at them and dream of doing more of those trips!  I was also gazing at my Terry Fox running shoes and the survivor bandanah my friend Holly gave me.......all reminders to stay on the course I have been travelling for this past year.  All of a sudden I remembered my White Rabbits!  Not too good if I had forgotten after nagging everybody else for the past couple of days.  Thanks to all who sent me messages this morning. It always makes me smile and I really do believe I am finally having a little luck slide my way!

I feel good that my scan was good.....nice to know that my cancer has responded to the treatment.  I am anxious to meet with the surgeon and hope he will agree to do the surgery and will act quickly.  I would go in tomorrow if they told me to be there.  I am worried about the narcotic pain killers.  If you remember, I had some major delirium problems with the drugs after my initial surgery.  At least my family will be watching for that this time and I will not be pushing that button every six minutes like I did last time.  Don't want to be worrying that the ward is being invaded, that the nurses are out to get me or that there are baby tigers in my room. As crazy as that sounds I really did believe those things, among others were a reality!  It gives you a little insight as to how people with mental health issues feel when reality gets distorted for them.  It is very unsettling and scary!

Today I pretty much completed my Christmas shopping.  Now all I have to do is wrap it up.  I want everything ready just in case!  If I could have my surgery soon I might even be back on my feet by Christmas.

Tomorrow I have booked Boomer in to the groomers to have a bath, get his ears cleaned and his nails cut.  He is going to HATE it!!  Usually I take him to the dollar dog wash but it's just too darn cold right now and I'm going to let someone else wrestle with him.  For a dog who loves to swim in water it is quite the sight to see him having a bath.  Pure, unadulterated misery!  Then there's the nail clipping.....the quivering and reproachful looks he gives..... like this is the most painful thing in the world.  He is a total pansy!  But he is going to be a clean, sweet smelling pansy for Christmas whether he likes it or not!!!  So hoping the upcoming month is going to be filled with luck and good fortune!!!  I'm counting on it!