March 19!!  Today would have been my Mom's birthday.  I'm trying to think how old she would have been and am thinking it would have been her 82nd birthday!  Hard to believe where the years have gone!  Often I get messages from people commenting on my positive outlook and strength.  The truth of the matter is I had a good teacher.  My Mom was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma.  The year my Mom got sick, she and my Dad were down in the States escaping our Canadian winter.  Mom got very sick and the medical people down there recommended she return to Canada.  Shortly after her return home she was diagnosed with lymphoma.  We were told there was no cure for the disease but that many people responded well to treatment and could last many years.  I only saw my Mom cry once and that was the day she told us about her diagnosis, apologizing for what she would be putting us through. At the time I could not even believe that this would be her main concern but now I totally get it.  I hate what my family has had to go through.  I fully understand their worry and their watchfulness over me.  Mom got down to the business of getting her treatments.  She actually looked forward to her chemo appointments, viewing them as her arsenal that was going to blast that cancer!  There was the odd time they wouldn't not administer the chemo when her bloodwork came back low and she actually got depressed that they would not give her the drugs.  She bounced back for awhile, continued to enjoy her golf, cooked many family dinners for us, and continued to spoil us with her cinnamon buns and apple pies.  I think we all thought she would be one of those people that would just trundle on managing her cancer for a long, long time so it was quite a shock when she started to slide.  I will never forget the phone call on my birthday when she told me she wasn't feeling well.  A few days later Dad brought her in from the lake to get checked.  Not feeling well was the understatement!  I suspect she hadn't felt well for awhile but didn't share it with the rest of us until she couldn't hide it any longer.  She spent six weeks in the Foothills Hospital trying a new regime of chemo.  It was a difficult six weeks for all of us but I think we all hoped the new chemo would do the trick.  Unfortunately it did not and the doctors told us that they had exhausted their options.  They told us Mom could go home and we asked if we could take her out to Windermere, a place she loved.  They said we should go as soon as possible which told us we didn't have much time with her.  We took her there and she had the chance to go out to the golf course to visit her friends, she sat in the back yard and admired Dad's begonias and just soaked up the place she loved and called home!  It really was a bitter sweet time for all of us.  One morning my Dad asked me if I wanted to go out early to the golf course and play some golf.  We slipped out before Mom was awake and left her and my brother at home.  It was a cool August morning and we decided to play the back nine because there wouldn't be any people there yet.  I had not brought my clubs so was using moms'.  We got to hole 13 which is a par three that crosses the Columbia River. I remember stepping up to the tee box and hitting the ball with Moms four iron!  Dad and I watched it sail across the river, land on the green and roll in the hole.  We both looked at each other, tears streaming down our faces.  When we arrived back to the house I sat down beside Mom and said "Mom, you won't believe what your four iron did this morning!"  She just grinned from ear to ear......
"Fancy that!"    We were only there for a few days when we realized we needed to return to Calgary. Time was slowly running out and we all knew it.  Mom passed away on August 29th.  She was a wonderful Mother and wife and an amazing grandma!   She loved us, her family and left us with so many memories.  I still miss her and it has been 11 years!!!  Love you Mom....and on this day....your birthday I know we will all be thinking about you and missing you!