Been gone all day.  Started off with coffee with friends who have just had a devastating cancer diagnosis.  They are just in the beginning phase of things and I know from experience how overwhelming all of this can be.  I have been so fortunate to have people surround me with their love and wisdom over this past year and it was nice to be in a position to share some of my experiences and insights with them.  I truly hope I helped in some small way.

While at the club I also sadly learned that a fellow I used to play squash with and had purchased shirts for my school from, is not doing well.  When I was first diagnosed last December he sent me a message telling me he had seen me in the daycare at the Tom Baker. He had also had a cancer diagnosis around the same time as I did and was battling lymphoma.   We emailed back and forth for quite awhile and the last I heard he was doing really well.  Ironically I have dealt with two shirt screening companies over the past twenty years.  Both of the men who had provided shirts for my school, from two totally different companies have been diagnosed with cancer this year.  I was shocked to hear that my squash friend had had a relapse and is not expected to live much longer.  A fit, healthy man in his early forties with four kids under the age of 10!  How unfair is that?  It just makes me want to cry.

After coffee I hit the weight room, did my time on the bike and a few weights then hit the steam room.
Grabbed a sandwich and then joined my Dad for a presentation on cycling in Cuba.  Rich and Mavis King spent a month there last year and Rich did an awesome presentation on the trip.  It looked like a trip worth looking into.  Paved roads, a little rough in places mind you, very little traffic, an interesting culture, and very inexpensive!  Looks like a trip to add to the list of to dos!

Today has made me really reflect on the past year.  Talking about it really brings things into focus. I usually try not to dwell too much on my circumstance but there are times those thoughts do creep into your head.  What is my future?  Will I beat this?  My family needs me and I need them!  I want to live!  I have things I want to see and do.  It's not my time!  Am I doing everything possible?  Are there things I could do better?  I remember sitting with a friend a few years back.  She was dying and had a young family.  I will never forget her telling me she was not afraid to die, she was just sad for what she would miss.  I know exactly what she meant.....I don't want to miss anything!  There are so many things yet to happen that I want to be part of.

 I truly believe in the power of positive thinking.  I also know without a doubt that a strong support system of family, friends and the medical team you are working with play a huge role in how you handle your situation.  Although I have trouble planning too far ahead, I do like to have things to look forward to.  Bill has been amazing at making sure we always have something out there that I will want to do.  We will probably go broke but right now we aren't to focussed on that.  I believe that you need to take control of the things you can and try not to worry about the things you can't.  That means eating properly and getting the biggest bang for your buck on everything that goes into your mouth while at the same time not depriving yourself of things you really enjoy.  I drink very little these days but occasionally a glass of good wine is a real treat!  I believe in staying active and actively engaged in life.  It is hard to describe the joy I feel each time I experience an activity I wondered if I'd ever do again.....Today, Jeff suggested I might like to try sky diving!.....Hmmmmm....... I believe in the importance of giving back whenever and however you can.   I want life to be as normal as possible for both myself and those around me and I think we have actually achieved that to some degree.  I give thanks every day for the gifts I have in my life.  I give thanks for all my friends, my amazing family and my doctor who continues to hope I will be his "miracle patient."   I look to the future with optimism and hope.  What more can a person do?