Today, I finally bit the bullet and headed up to the Winter Club.  I have belonged to that club since I was five years old.  It has played a huge role in my life however, since I was diagnosed I have basically avoided going there, always finding excuses not to.  I'm to busy, I'm at the low point in my cycle and need to stay away from anywhere there might be germs, the weather's to good, the roads are bad, there is nothing I can do there, I don't want anyone to see me looking like this, my workout is embarrassing, etc, etc.  I think you are getting the picture.  I was just avoiding it.  Today I finally decided to get back on the horse and check it out.  I haven't even seen the new renovation so decided that this would be a good day to go and see what the place looked like.  I was quite amazed at what is there now.  It has been so long since I have been to the club I had to text Kelli and ask her what the combination for our locker was!  The fitness facility is huge!  I toured around and checked it all out and then headed down to the weight room to do my workout which consisted of some stationary bike and some weights.  While I was riding the bike I was thinking to myself "Why haven't I come here sooner?"  I had a bit of an epiphany.  I was avoiding the club because I knew it would remind me of how I was before all this started.  Going today was like clearing a massive hurdle.  I really enjoyed myself and am ready to move my workouts out of the privacy and seclusion of my basement.  Kelli dropped by this afternoon and I was telling her about my revelation.  She looked at me and said "Mom, I know exactly what you mean.  When I went up there last week and opened the locker and saw your racquets and runners I sat down on the bench and burst into tears."  We all feel sad at how this has changed my life and the life of my family but we all have to remember and focus on the most important thing....I am still here and I do have quality in the life I am living.  The really important things are still there and that is what I have to focus on.  "Just because you are attached to a burden does not mean you do not sometimes want to fly."  So I continue to fly.....maybe not as high but soar I will.