December 21st --- hard to believe --- a difficult month.
I just wanted to stick a little message on mom's blog to let her followers know that I have turned her blog into a book --- a 500 page book with all of her posts and coloured photos. If you're interested in a copy of it just drop me an email and i'll provide the details. The cost is around $170 - i'll have to double check on the exact numbers…but it's the size of a phone book!
Love to you all - and Merry Christmas!
Follow Leslie
Saturday 21 December 2013
Wednesday 4 September 2013
My
Mom – the strongest woman I’ve known. My
“favorite” Mom, my unrelenting cheerleader, bearer of my stress, shoe
consultant extraordinaire, enabler of my coffee addiction, my shoulder, my
confidant, my bear --- my person. Mom
was a firecracker. Fierce. Stubborn. Really Funny. Reliable. Loyal. Loud. She had a pure, immeasurable love for her
family and her friends and a truly unwavering passion for life and adventure. Of
course my mom was a gym teacher for (33 years) – and a pretty good one I hear –
but that story has already been told. But a teacher she certainly was – my
first and longest. So today I’ve decided
to share with you the 4 greatest lessons I’ve learnt from mom.
Lesson
Number One: "When you count your blessings
– count your family twice"
Our family was the most important thing to Mom. Mom was a devoted
daughter – sharing a relationship with her parents that certainly transcended
generations. Mom was unequivocally the most constant
positive light in my life. When I think back through my childhood I’m filled with an
intense sense of gratitude for being blessed with parents who gave us an idyllic
upbringing. Perhaps one of things my mom
did best was truly nurture and encourage mine and Geoff’s imaginations. Each
year Geoff and I were surprised with incredibly elaborate themed birthday
parties - pirates, pandas, sailors, superheros, cowboys – mom was famous for
hosting these events. At Christmas - a
real live Santa Clause would come, sac of presents and all, to our family
dinner. On every Christmas morning we would find reindeer hove prints perfectly
etched on the deck but no footprints to be found. In true mom fashion she went above and beyond
these traditional ways of fostering our imaginations. She once told Geoff that if he put salt on
the tails of animals they would freeze and so he spent a significant amount of
his childhood chasing wildlife around the ravine - magpies, deer, gophers – bag
of table salt in hand! In fact, once he
managed to sprinkle salt on a maimed magpie and when it was unable to fly away
Geoff was absolutely convinced that mom was right! After that, he even tried to
freeze a friend.
Mom believed in making us feel special. She infused holidays,
vacations, birthdays, anniversaries and Sunday dinners with her own personal
flare. As kids, each year on our
birthdays we got to pick out one “sugary” cereal – so once a year I would gorge
myself on fruit loops and bounce of the walls.
Every Christmas Eve she would leave a bran spankin’ new pair of pajamas
on my bed. Milestones were always
celebrated. Heartbreaks were met with a cup of Early Grey tea and a sympathetic
but practical ear. She was always the first recipient of any of my good news –
and reliably she would mirror my enthusiasm but respond with “of course you
did” OR “I knew you would” – her confidence in me never waivered. Even the year I won the National doubles
final and ALL of the Mom’s bet against my partner and I (I still can’t believe you
guys were placing bets) - mom placed her bet on US (she admitted later that
guilt played a role in this). Simply put, mom was utterly thoughtful and one of
the most giving individuals I have ever met.
Mom and dad prioritized family vacations – some of the most
memorable include hiking the West Coast Trial, kayaking the Broken Group
Islands, time with our Grandparents in Windermere at the cabin and Christmas in
Maui. But mom also made a conscious effort to have alone time with both Geoff
and I – memories we both treasure. Each
summer she would take each of us on a backcountry-backpacking trip. In her absence these last few weeks I have
spent a significant amount of time traipsing in the backcountry – to me, this
is where I feel Moms presence the most - she truly loved the mountains.
In mom’s last
days it became more difficult to carry on a conversation. She had troubles answering simple questions –
she would get confused. But when we said,
“I love you” she would immediately reciprocate with absolutely clarity. When nothing else made sense and all other
meaningful conversation was lost – this remained. Thank you Mom for teaching us to love and to
hold on tighter through the hard times. Thank
you Mom (and Dad) for teaching us what wedding vows really mean and for
teaching us how parents are supposed to love their children. For teaching us that there is nothing in this
world that is more important than family.
Lesson
Number Two: “Grow your friendships – because going for a pedicure with your man
ain’t cool”
Mom was a woman who had friends, a lot of them, AND the real
kind – from every decade and every nook and cranny of her life. She absolutely treasured these relationships
and she worked hard to maintain them – and encouraged us to do the same. Mom had the “gift of gab” and loved a good
piece of innocent gossip - but if ever accused of actually being a gossip she
would say, “I’m just interested in people” – and this was SO true.
When
mom first got sick I found myself asking myself “what’s the point?” Mom was a lifelong health advocate, a poster-child
for active living – and when she got esophageal cancer I couldn’t help but feel
like the karma driven universe had made some grand mistake. Over the course of mom’s illness the answer
to my question gradually became clear. The measure of mom’s life was defined by the gestures of her
friends. The letters, cards, emails -
the cinnamon buns, soups, casseroles in our freezer - the t-shirts and hoodies with scribbled
inspiration, the lovingly hand crafted photo album on our fireplace mantel, the
pooh pillow on her bed, the dragon poster on the wall, the endless number of
trinkets and toys – the HERD of white rabbit paraphernalia, the $126 000 raised
for the ride to conquer cancer, the hundreds of emails that have filtered
through her inbox and the 123 961 blog hits from as far away as Russia and
South Africa. Among all the anger, pain and confusion - in my mind
the purpose of mom’s life somehow made itself clear – the grand gestures
represented the depth of her friendships – a lifetime of mutual support.
Mom taught us how to keep from taking our friends for
granted and through this loss I’ve learned that these friendships are what walk
us through times like these.
Lesson number 3: “Laughter is the
best medicine … especially when it’s inappropriate”
I
think we would all agree that Mom was spirited – mischievous - and famous for
her big laugh. When life seemed utterly relentless Mom embraced humor as a
crutch – through it all she laughed and enjoyed the
anecdotes and the craziness and the mayhem.
The first time we saw Mom after she came out of her esophagectomy surgery
she opened her eyes, gazed around looking a bit confused, gave us a thumbs up
and then in a muffled whisper asked for a glass of wine. The “muffled whisper” persisted – a
complication from the surgery where mom’s vocal cords were injured and resulting
in the loss of her voice. This was perhaps
one of the most devastating blows – but mom laughed at the irony – joking that
it was fates way of letting her friends get a word into their conversations.
My moms sense of humor throughout
her fight with cancer was distinct – a choke-on-your-coffee type humor. I remember the day she brought home
esophageal twists (dried pigs esophagus’s) from the pet store. She held them up to herself, like she was trying them on for size where her
esophagus had once been before her surgery – giggling about how morbid it
was. Every single time mom went for
chemo or hydration we would have a chuckle about one of her favorite nurses –
IVY – who couldn’t start an IV. Mom
never had the heart to send Ivy away – so at the expense of her veins Ivy’s
feelings were spared.
Cancer slowly strips so much away. But mom taught me to see the
beauty in every day. She made a choice
to live her life fully despite the twists and turns and speedbumps along the way. Mom adjusted her expectations, she set new
goals, she shogged instead of jogged and she made a conscious choice to laugh – a lot – and today, that
lesson is obvious.
Lesson Number
Four: “Life’s too short – BUY
the shoes”
Mom was a minor superstar when it came to her attitude. She taught us that
life could be defined by whatever we choose it to be defined by. Cancer did not
define my Mom’s life and although it’s hard to imagine right now, our lives
will not be defined by loss but by joy.
When it came to mom’s attitude – she strongly believed in
the following truths:
- You are in charge of your attitude
- Take control of the things you can and don’t worry about the things you can't
- Practice your P’s –positivity, perseverance and patience
- Look after your health! It's a gift we all need to give ourselves. Your fitness and health are going to save your life.
- Hey kids – winning isn’t everything…but it’s really really F%$ing important
Shortly after Mom’s first surgery we were in for a follow up
appointment with her oncologist. Mom was
very sick – she had developed a serious bout of pneumonia. After the appointment her oncologist asked to
speak with me alone. I will never forget
the conversation that unraveled – it went something like this: “Kelli – your mom is a farmer – farmers are
tough by nature - a difficult breed – you never really know how they are
feeling because everything is always “ok” – so you make sure you keep a close
eye on her and tell me how she’s really
doing." This same oncologist
would later refer to my mom as his “miracle patient” – mom loved that – she
wholeheartedly believed in miracles and she believed she would be one of
them. THIS may not have been how she
defined her miracle – but I believe the quality of life she attained after her
surgeries, largely a result of the attitude she adopted towards living with
cancer, allowed us to embark on several amazing family vacations: time with the family at the cabin, trips to Mexico, Hawaii,
the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas -- that was
our miracle.
Mom lived with intention. Through the loss of a few close friends, she
had an awareness that tomorrow wasn’t promised to any of us. She learned not to put things off…well, not longer
than 20 years. As a 6 year old, mom promised me she would take me to
Disneyland. When I finally graduated from medical school off we went to fulfill
my childhood dream. We woke up early to
be the first ones at the gate, wore the mouse ears for the entirety of our trip,
rode every single ride --- which was quite the feat considering her and I are
two of the most motion sick puckers you know.
I will never forget arriving to Disney Adventureland early in the
morning – my eyes drawn to the enormous looming rollarcoaster I promptly told
Mom we would be skipping that one.
Distracted by our lattes we wandered through the park and found
ourselves lined up under a canopy for our first ride of the day. It wasn’t until we were literally strapped in
to the ride when I looked over at mom and saw the cheeky grin dance across her
face – “Mom is THIS”…… Then ---- BLAST OFF 0-90km/hr in 4 seconds. I have never and since never screamed or
laughed so hard and I’m still not sure I have forgiven her. I thought back to that moment a lot when Mom
went through treatment – she embraced life through its ups and down - put her
arms up in the arm, screamed a little, laughed a lot and enjoyed the ride!!!
My mom never
complained. Truly. Rarely she would have what
she’d call “a pity party” – which would last about 20 minutes – a few quiet
tears, a few solid curses -- then she would declare it to be over and she would
carry on. Mom approached her battle with
cancer with ferocity and courage I had never seen before. Initially when she
was diagnosed I felt so helpless – I struggled – I wondered if I could possibly
be the daughter of this incredible woman.
But watching her fight her fight -
I learned from her – and that ferocity, courage, attitude – I now know
she put
that in us too – on purpose – her final lesson.
There
are endless lessons – and mom has personally shared these with you through her
blog. In the end, my mom died the same
way she lived. She laughed and
smiled and enjoyed everything she could get
from this life – she fought, she struggled and she didn’t want to leave this
world. What I’m going to miss about mom
is her reactions, and how
she never hesitated to tell you who she loved, who
she disliked or what she thought (even
if it was a quick judgment). Mom would tell you how she loved her
family
with more love than one person should be able to muster. My
Mom's love for us never stopped.
It was
a constant.
A foundation.
A law.
It is the pillar that has carried me
everywhere and holds me up right
now. The love that mom gave me is my strength
and her intense wish for me to carry on with my own life is my courage and my HOPE
to do just that.
I’d like to toast to my most amazing Mom – who truly loved life – and who
would choose to live it all over again if given the chance – even if the
outcome were the same!
Wednesday 28 August 2013
Hey there blog followers,
Just a reminder mom's Hawaiian party is on Wednesday, September 4th starting at 2pm at the Calgary Winter Club. We are expecting a large number of people to attend so please consider carpooling with friends and family. Parking might also be found in the community across 14th street if desperate. There will Hawaiian drinks served but you MUST be dressed in hawaiian attire!
Kelli
kellisherlock@gmail.com
Sunday 11 August 2013
I'm not sure if anyone will read this blog -- but what the heck...
Today was the Ride To Conquer Cancer - a day my mom was training and aiming for! Mom always had a goal - something to focus on, something to look forward to, something to get her moving on those days she just didn't feel well. The ride was an absolute incredible experience - almost like therapy. We biked 117km the first day and 100km the second day! There were some big climbs and fast descents! I didn't get off my bike once (except for at the designated rest stops of course!). As I huffed and puffed my way up the hills, fighting the urge to jump off my bike, I just kept thinking - Mom LOVED hills. She did - truly! It was where she left everyone in the dust and she knew it! She shone on hills (literally and metaphorically). Mom was with us all; she was riding tandem on my bike (you just couldn't see her). There were tons of smiles, lots of tears and a lot of stories shared.
Mom would have been so insanely proud of us!!!
THANK YOU for the incredible outpouring of support to my family these past few weeks, months and even years. You have lifted us and carried us during some of the most difficult times. THANK YOU to those who supported the Honey Badgers. This was a ride and a cause my mom held near and dear to her heart - obviously for her own struggles but also for many friends affected. She would want us to continue the fight against cancer...sooo...we all signed up again today for the 2014 ride!!!
There will be a celebration of life for Mom held at the Calgary Winter Club on September 4th at 2pm. Mom wanted a party - so a party it will be. Please dress in Hawaiian garb - yes it's true - mom loved Hawaii!!
Last years ride!
Mom's story of courage and determination made the front page of the Calgary Herald yesterday!
I stopped at this store in Turner Valley to buy a sunflower - unfortunately they were sold out!!!
THE HONEY BADGERS!
Boomer in his Honey Badger shirt at the finish line
218kms for MOM!!!
Tuesday 6 August 2013
With a heavy heart and a cannonball hole through my chest I'm sorry to write that my beautiful, strong, firecracker mom has passed away. At 5:15 this morning my mom passed away peacefully, in her own bed, surrounded and held in love. She won her battle with cancer - not allowing it to define her life. She will live on in our hearts.
Stay tuned for a better tribute.
Stay tuned for a better tribute.
Kelli
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)